So much of my time here, I have been at war with myself. Maybe a little bit even with God – not in a bad way, mind you, just warring over my identity, my function. You guys have heard me say so many times that this time in the UK has looked so different than what we imagined it would, and part of it, for me at least, is my function has been completely different on this trip than in times past. I thought when I came here I would be moving in the prophetic, preaching, teaching, etc. And in some ways I have been doing just that, but in a different context. Let me explain a little further.
My love meter for others while being here has been off the chart. I have been consumed with so much compassion and love and a true earnest desire to see God’s best come to pass for each person I come in contact with. Honestly, it’s been a bit overwhelming at times just how much I feel for each person. On the other hand, though, I feel like I have had a hard time “clicking” back into some of the roles I had on previous trips here. As happy as I have been, I was still battling internally with why it was so different for me now. I couldn’t put my finger on it. It all came to a head about 3-4 weeks ago. I began to struggle with my identity here- or what I thought was my identity at the time. It had nothing to do with self -worth, or anything like that, because I learned who I am as a daughter of the King a long time ago. I had even told myself that maybe this trip was just all about Billy stepping back into his role (because he has changed so much here and been like wildfire) and that I was taking a back seat for a moment, and my job was just to love on the people and minister when I had the opportunity – which has still been there, its just been different.
Before we came here, I had more than a few prophecies spoken over my life about being a spiritual mother. It is a title I never minded being told I would carry, but at the same time, it had the stigma of a second class citizen to me. I wanted more than that in my mind I think. I hate to say it that way, but that is the only way I can think of to explain it. Even while being here, I have had a couple of people call me their spiritual mama- and while I am thankful for the title, I didn’t feel like I was doing anything special but just loving on them.
One night last week, I was talking with a friend from America about how I had been feeling, and the Lord used her to speak to me about my calling and my gifting as a spiritual mother. She said it seems the Lord is highlighting and elevating the function of hospitality and spiritual mothering in this season, more so than your other giftings and callings, in not so many words. When she said that, it clicked for me on so many levels. It was revelation that I needed to connect in order for me to put the pieces together. I went to bed that evening feeling “in place” more so than any other time on this trip.
The next morning I woke up very sick with Covid or Flu or something. I think it was just the enemy’s way of trying to get my mind off the highs of the past several weeks with the culmination being the conversation the night before. God used that time that I was sick as a time to rest in Him though. He began to take me on a journey, reliving some of this trip, showing me all the ways He was making me a mother on this trip. I know I have always had a “mothering” sense, but this has been different. I can see now how he was elevating that in me here. I have had times here where the Lord has just kept someone in the forefront of my mind for weeks, praying and interceding for them. I thought I was just being a good friend. He has had me groaning in the spirit for multiple person’s destinies. For them to see who they are called to be. He has had me speaking life, and direction, and encouragement into people, a bit in the way a mother would. He has had me in spaces of just sitting and being with people in their sadness, in their hurt, while the Lord does his heart work.
He has shown me revelation after revelation of what a Spiritual Mother actually looks like and that all entails. I am still on a journey of discovery with Him concerning the elevation of this role for my life, but I am changed. I feel empowered. I feel like I have been given a new authority to speak and declare things over people and into their lives. I have such a burden to see people become all that the Lord has called them to be.
Last week Billy and I attended a prophetic conference with Ben Armstrong from Bethel, and he was talking abount a clean conscious from 2 Timothy 1:3 – and he gave it a definition of “do you think about yourself the way God thinks about you?” He said “what gives you a clean conscious is your prophetic destiny and the truth of what God has spoken over your life connected with mothers and fathers who call you to that. That is the power of the prophetic and the power of being connected to healthy mothers and fathers in the faith.” I wept in that moment, because it came when the Lord was speaking to me about being a spiritual Mother.
Bethany Hicks, also from Bethel, has recently put out a book on kingdom mothering, and she stated “There are orphans who are coming into the kingdom, and they are called to be sons and daughters but they don’t know how to live as sons and daughters, they need fathers and mothers to show them who God has created them to be. Fathers and Mothers are needed today like never before.” It holds such truth, and resonated with me on such a deep level. I now know why the Lord has put such a strong desire in me for others to know who they are in Christ; to step into who they were created to be. Now He has elevated it even more. The groans and intensity of the prayers that come forth when I am in intercession for people and their destinies is like nothing I have ever experienced before.
The assignment of a Spiritual Mother is to raise up and release worldchangers. Psalm 112: 1-2 says, “Blessed are those who fear the Lord, who find great delight in his commands. (2) Their children will be mighty in the land; the generation of the upright will be blessed.” The children of the righteous will rise up to crush the enemy’s head. The children are the gamechangers in the land and you can’t have children who are worldchangers without mothers and fathers releasing them into their destiny. What better role than to play than that of a Mother or Father and watch your spiritual offspring come into all that they have been destined for?
I want every person to know who they are in Christ and to step into the role God has for their life, and I am so glad the Lord has entrusted me with the role of helping people step into that. It is a title I will forever wear with humility and gratitude. May I serve you well in the role, God.